Weekly Dish Blog - 5 Things That Seem Strange After Having Kids

1. Carrying a Small Bag – The small bag is a thing of the past. You now must carry what can be considered an airline carry-on bag at all times. This bag must contain all the essentials including things that your child may decide they want mid-outing so make sure to use your magical mind reading skills when packing the bag. Also, and this is a doozy, make sure to pack an extra shirt for mom. Kids tend to leak and spew like an old car.

2. Going Somewhere Alone – Remember the days when you could run to the store for just a couple things? It was no big deal. You could pop in after work or just grab your purse and go (and by purse I mean purse not luggage.) Oh those were the days. Now I realized that I wouldn’t be at liberty to pick up and run whenever the mood struck after I had a kid, but I didn’t know that I wouldn’t ever be alone EVER again. Who knew that going to the bathroom required an audience. Or that taking a shower involved a baby seat in the bathroom floor or a toddler with their face pressed against the glass telling you Elmo was all gone. My first trip to Target alone happened last week and it felt strange and liberating. Strange because I kept feeling as though I was forgetting something, strange because I could play my music at a level that the neighbors wouldn’t appreciate and strange because I was carrying a wristlet. Even though it’s crazy to constantly be with these little people I know one day (that’s not so far off) I will miss them. It’s the little things.

3. Going on a date with your husband – Man has dating changed. Every now and again my husband and I like to get out and go to a movie or dinner, or wallet willing both. It’s amazing how much I think about the kids when they aren’t around. I wonder if I remembered to tell the sitter or grandmother involved that the big kid is now sleeping with a book in his bed. Or if I taught her the new way the baby likes to be held. And those are just the things that are going through my mind. I sit in the movie with my cell phone in my lap checking it every five minutes even though it is on vibrate. When my husband and I get to dinner half of our conversation revolves around the kids. What did we talk about before these little guys showed up? Yeah, I don’t remember either. Then there is the cost. If there is a grandparent close enough by to watch the kids once on occasion be thankful. By the time you give the sitter $10 an hour on top of dinner and/or a movie you have spent $100. It’s nuts. Dating your husband is expensive.

4. Every bad news story is 10 times worse – Watching the news has gone from a passing thought or noise in the background while I check my email to a stress inducing, nail biting experience. Kids disappearing, school lunches will kill you (well I knew that from my days in school), college costs as much as a mortgage on a dream home. Once you have a kid all of these stories hit home a little too hard. It’s looking as though my kids will never go to college, eat a meal the school provides or – well scratch all that they’re just never leaving the house. Then I don’t have to worry, right?

5. Romance – For those of you with kids you know what I’m talking about. The end of a long day of telling your toddler no, chasing him around the house and picking up toys for the 400th time begins to come to a close and all you want to do is sit down. Maybe you can even stay awake long enough to watch one of your favorite shows. The next thing you know your partner is telling you about their day and you are reminded that there are things going on outside your home. Things other than poop and fighting over veggies. Who knew? Your husband swoops in for a hug/ kiss goodnight and you look down at yourself trying to identify what some of the smudges are on your shirt and trying to determine whether or not what you smell is coming off of you or if the trash needs to go out. Then the ultimate question crosses your mind, did you get to shower that day? Sometimes it’s hard to remember if such a luxury has taken place. Nothing is sexier than a busy SAHM. Forget romance, I just want to smell like a human who has indoor plumbing.

As strange as life gets after kids, I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

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